


So Hard to Say Goodbye

by pandorabox82



Series: 100 Ways To Say I Love You [10]
Category: Holby City
Genre: #10 - I'm Sorry For Your Loss, 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Carole finds it difficult to say goodbye to Henrik as he prepares to head to Sweden with Sara and Oskar.
Relationships: Carole Copeland & Henrik Hanssen
Series: 100 Ways To Say I Love You [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1460425
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	So Hard to Say Goodbye

Carole tried to keep herself from crying as listened to Henrik tell Sacha that he was leaving for Sweden with Sara and Oskar. She had always known that he would choose his grandson, since family love outweighed any burgeoning friendship that she might have with him, and so she quietly made her way over to the loo and slipped inside, managing to hold it together until she was in a stall. Then, she buried her face in her hands and allowed herself to cry. It was a good release, and she took a few shuddery breaths as she tried to control her emotions.

Once she felt like she wasn't going to cry any longer, Carole made her way over to the mirror and took stock of her face. Her mascara had run, and she let out a little sigh as she grabbed a few paper towels and cleaned away the evidence, just in case she was noticed by anyone. Then she took a deep breath before smoothing down her hair and plastered her normal smile on her lips. Though she didn't feel the expression, she knew that eventually, it would seep into her bones and that she would feel better. Blinking a few times, she cleared her throat before exiting the loo.

As soon as she stepped foot into the hall, Carole found herself running into a familiar, warm, body, and she looked up into the warm, sad, eyes of Henrik. "Oh! I didn't see you there, Mister H! I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Carole. And I'm glad that I, quite literally, ran into you. I have something to tell you."

"I already know, and I'm sorry for your loss," she managed to choke out before looking away from him and trying to stifle a fresh bout of tears. "I suppose that I always knew it wasn't going to last. I should have tried harder not to get attached to that wee little mite, but he's just so sweet and he reminds me so of you, that it was hard not to."

She heard the heavy sigh that usually signaled that he was about to deliver bad news, and she dared to glance up at him, seeing the drawn, heavy look on his face. "Oskar is a very sweet little boy, yes. And I am quite grateful to you for helping me to take care of him these last few weeks. I thought that you might like to come with us, so that you can say goodbye, at least for now."

Carole pursed her lips as they wobbled, trying to keep from crying around him once more. "You'd let me do that?"

"Of course, Carole. It wouldn't be right if he left without getting to say goodbye to you. And don't worry, I will make certain that you will arrive back home. Please, come with us?"

She felt her expression meet the one on his face as she slowly nodded. A few tears trembled on her lashes before spilling down her cheeks, and he hurriedly grabbed his handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it over. "Thank you," she whispered as she followed him to the lift. There were a few other people there, so she didn't say anything more, wanting to keep her emotions to herself. Still, they were on the receiving end of some odd looks when he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her from the hospital and into the car park. "We're not going to take a taxi?"

"No, I need to back a small bag first, and then meet Sara and Oskar at the airport. I trust you enough to be able to bring my car back home, and I will pay for you to take a taxi home." He gave her one of those rare, fleeting, smiles, and Carole nodded, feeling her heart crack a little as she returned the expression. "Now, let us be off."

"Yes, Henrik," she replied almost shyly, and he nodded a little as he opened the door for her. She climbed in and fastened her belt while Henrik got behind the wheel and took off for his home. It was a short drive, but in a completely different part of town than she was accustomed to, and Carole tried very hard not to gawk at the very apparent affluence that they were traveling through. It was then that she realized that Henrik was incredibly out of her league, no matter how she felt for the man, and her heart started to deflate a little as cold reality began to seep into her system. "Cor, you live in an amazing neighbourhood."

He let out a soft chuckle, and she quickly looked at him to read his expression, seeing that he was flushed, a telltale sign of embarrassment in him, and she wished that she hadn't said anything at all. "I am fortunate to have a well paying job, and I have been extremely careful with my money management, given that I've never had a partner to take care of, and my child was provided for by my father."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, wondering about that little revelation. It was something deeply personal, and she knew that he wouldn't just blab it out like that, unless he respected her enough to keep it close to her chest. "When my Dazzle was given to me, I didn't even think about Angel giving us money for support. I was just so pleased to actually have a baby of my own, no matter how he came into my life. And now that he seems to want to spend more time with her, I just, well, it hurts to have to say goodbye to someone you love. And I guess that's just a roundabout way to tell you that I know exactly what you're going through with Oskar, even though you're going to Sweden to help him settle back into his home. You're doing that because you love him so, and he means the world to you, just like my Dazzle means the world to me."

When she reached the end of her little speech, she was surprised to find her cheeks wet with tears, and she used his handkerchief to dab at her cheeks once more. "Yes, well, it seems that you are much more able to articulate your feelings than I might ever be."

She nodded a little as she worried the fabric between her fingers, knowing that she would have to wash and return it when he was home. If he ever came home. There was a good chance that he could decide to stay in Sweden, with his family, and given everything that he had been through in the last few years, she couldn't blame him for that decision. Finally, they pulled into his drive, and she swallowed the gasp that threatened to escape her lips at the sight of the stately building. "This is gorgeous," she finally managed to gasp out, and he chuckled a little as he turned the vehicle off and got out. She followed after him, trying not to appear too eager to see how he lived.

"I bought it for the location, not the aesthetics," he said as he unlocked the front door, gesturing for her to enter. She brushed past him into the foyer and sucked in a deep breath as she stepped out of her shoes, wanting to be respectful of his space. It looked like she had made the right choice, as he took of his shoes right next to her, taking care to make certain they lined up. "If you'd like to make yourself a cup of tea while you wait for me, I shouldn't be any longer than thirty minutes."

"All right, if you don't mind me rummaging around in your cupboards," she teased, watching his face carefully. He dipped his head, a smile dancing around his face, though it never quite landed on his lips, and she grinned in return as she took a look around her. He pointed towards the left, and she nodded before heading in that direction.

His kitchen was neat and orderly, exactly like him, and she let out a small breath of satisfaction at that little tidbit. It didn't take her long to get the kettle going, and then she was rummaging around in the cupboard closest to the stove, knowing that with as logical as Henrik was, it was most likely that his mugs and tea would be there. Rather than just taking out one mug, she decided to make one for him as well, knowing that he could use a bit of a pick me up, and there was nothing better than tea. His selection wasn't quite as diverse as hers was, but she decided to go with the trusty Earl Grey for them both. As she waited for the water to boil, Carole hummed beneath her breath, dancing a little in the steps that she had been taught at their previous lesson. She supposed that that would come to an end as well, since she didn't have a partner now, and she mourned for that loss.

The kettle whistling broke through her reverie, and she lifted the kettle and poured the water into their mugs, setting the timer on her phone so that it would brew properly. It was only once the tea had finished steeping that she realized that there wasn't really a good way to dispose of the teabags, since Henrik was going away for an unknown period of time, so she looked through a few of the drawers until she found a plastic baggie, placing the used teabags inside them before securing it and then tossing it in her purse to throw away once she was home.

"Henrik, I made us both tea! Do you want me to bring it up to you?" she called out as she bustled over to the stairs.

"No, I'll be down in a minute, it didn't take as long as I thought to pack."

She nodded a little before answering, "All right, see you down here in a few." Heading back to the kitchen, she took a seat at the table and wrapped her hands around the mug, finding the heat of it very comforting as she waited for him to join her. The sound of his heavy footfalls on the steps informed her of his arrival, and she once more tried to plaster a smile on her lips as he came into the kitchen, a small suitcase in his hand. "Not even taking your laptop?" she asked.

"No. If I'm going to spend time with Oskar and Sara, I want to be completely removed from my duties back here. I'm taking my phone and tablet, since I have to stay connected, but there's less you can do on them." He took a seat and picked up his mug, sipping at the tea before giving her a warm look. "This is delicious, Carole. And while I was upstairs, I realized that I have a need that I'm hoping you can fulfill."

She nodded in her eagerness, wondering what he could possibly want of her, after all, they were just friends, so it wasn't likely anything too personal. "What is that?"

"I will need you to attend to my mail. Since this was a last minute decision, there isn't time for me to stop or forward the post, and I'll need someone to make certain that it doesn't get ruined by my cat."

"I didn't know you had a pet, Henrik."

He tugged at the collar of his shirt before he looked down into his mug. "She's not originally mine, but I couldn't let her go to the pound after Roxanna passed. It's my last link that I have, you see, and I just couldn't abandon sweet Lucy. Which brings me to the other request I have. Would you also mind taking care of her for me? I don't know when I'll be back, so it will be a rather large undertaking, and I'll understand if you say no."

"I could never say no to you, Henrik. Of course I'll look after your mail and Lucy while you're gone. I'll just need a key so that I can get in and out."

He nodded and took out his keyring, handing it over to her. "Again, I'm trusting you to do what is necessary and not a jot more."

"I understand, and you have my word, Henrik." She gave him a bashful smile before slipping the keyring into her purse. They finished their tea in a companionable silence, and then he rose to his feet, heading over to the sink and rinsing out his mug before turning it upside down on the drying rack. Carole followed suit, making a note to put them away when she came over to tend to the mail and Lucy the next day. "Are we heading out, then?"

"Yes. I have to meet Sara at the airport in an hour, but I'm hoping that she's earlier so that we have enough time for you to say goodbye to Oskar."

"Thank you," she whispered as they made their way outside. It was only when he looked at her expectantly that she realized she had his only set of keys, and she pulled them out of her purse and locked the door before heading to the car. "Do you want me to drive, then?" she asked as he loaded his suitcase in the boot, and he gave her a small nod. Taking a deep breath, she climbed behind the wheel and adjusted the seat so that she could actually reach the controls, since he was so much taller than she was.

The drive to the airport didn't take too long, though Carole was careful to drive as well as she could, since she wanted to prove to him that she was trustworthy enough to be given the honor of taking care of his place while he was gone. She turned into short term parking and found a space close to the walkway before pulling in and turning off the car. Glancing over at him, she noticed that he was tapping his fingers against his thighs, as if he was nervous to head into the airport, and she knew that she had to do something to get him out of his brain. "Well, we should probably head in and see if Sara is there already."

"Yes, you're right," he replied softly, and she placed the keys into her purse as she climbed out of the car and went to the boot, waiting for him to join her. Once he was at her side, she pressed the button to open it and then he was grabbing his suitcase before closing the boot with a loud thunk.

"You are making the right choice, Henrik," she said as they crossed the street and headed into the airport. To her surprise, Henrik took hold of her hand and guided her down the hallway to the tables where most people waited for their families to arrive. She spotted Oskar straight away, and she lifted her free hand to wave at him. A broad grin split his face as he began to jump up and down before tugging himself free from Sara's grip and racing over to them, wrapping his arms around her legs as he buried his face in her stomach. "Hullo, Oskar."

"Miss Carole! Are you coming with _farfar_?"

Trust him to ask the one question that would break her heart even more, and she slowly shook her head as she took hold of his hand and allowed him to lead her over to Sara's side. She took a seat at the table, watching Henrik start to speak lowly to his daughter in law, and she used the opportunity to talk to Oskar. "I wish that I could, my wee prince, but this is a time for the three of you to be a family, and I'm just your _farfar'_ s friend. But I promise that I will never forget you, and that when you come back to visit us, we will have our own special day. Okay?" He nodded solemnly. "And all you have to do is ask your _farfar_ , and I am certain that he will help you write an email to me, or Skype with me. All right?"

"All right, Miss Carole. But I wish you were coming with us."

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, and she felt her eyes sting with unshed tears as she opened her arms to him. It was so hard to say goodbye to this precious little one, and his grandfather, but she knew that it had to happen, as Henrik wouldn't be happy without his grandson, and she couldn't go with them. "I wish that, too, Oskar. Just know that I love you, so so much." She kissed the side of his head softly before looking up at Henrik. "I should probably leave now, before it gets too close to your flight leaving. Hopefully, I'll see you soon, Oskar."

Carole hugged him tightly once more before turning and making her towards the doors. She was halfway down the hall when she felt a strong hand close around her shoulder, stilling her progress, and she turned to see Henrik there, a sad smile on his lips. "You didn't say goodbye to me."

"You were busy talking to Sara. Besides, I know that you're going to keep in touch, since I'm getting your mail and all that." Her lower lip trembled, and Carole closed her eyes to keep from crying. In that moment, when she wasn't looking at him, that he pulled her into a tight hug. "Henrik?"

"You have been a faithful friend to me and my grandson, and I cannot thank you enough for that. And I will see you soon, but you have my mobile number just in case you need anything. Here, I need to leave this with you, so that you don't have to worry about expenses, at least not for a little while." He let go of her to pull out his wallet, folding a few bills before pressing them into her hand. "We have to go check in now, but I will call tomorrow to check on how Lucy is doing."

"Of course, I look forward to that call." She placed the money in her purse and then she lifted her face so that she could look at him as she put on a brave smile. "Safe journeys, Henrik." And before she could break down, Carole turned on her heel once more and scurried from him, knowing that if she stayed any longer, she would be a sobbing mess, and he didn't need that today, not on top of everything else. It wasn't until she was seated in his car once more, breathing in the scent of his sandalwood aftershave, that she allowed herself to release her feelings in a torrent of tears, knowing that Henrik was coming back and that they could resume their friendship from this point in time, she just had to keep that in mind, even as it was so hard to say goodbye, even for a brief period of time.


End file.
